Well, bet you weren't expecting to read about neurophysiology on a networking blog, were you?
I'm writing this for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, I think all blog posts should be a journey, and this one is no different. The fundamental question that sparked this post occurred to me as I laid down my head and started saying my good-nights to Alison. As I imagine happens to most people, my mind wandered down myriad paths of thought, and all of a sudden everything came to a screeching halt, and I had to ask myself:
IS MY JOB KILLING ME?
At first that may seem a bit dramatic, but let me show you the kind of life I have been leading as a network engineer these past three years;
- Woke up at 08:00, worked all day. Skipped lunch. Went home, tried to nap. Got back up at 22:45, started maintenance at 23:00. Stayed up until maintenance was complete at 04:00. Went to work at 10:00.
- Went in to work at 09:00, normal day until 16:00. One of our critical applications was not working, called support. Stayed on the phone with them until 01:00 (when the application was finally fixed). No food since 16:00. Came into work at noon the following day (but only got to sleep until 09:00).
- Came into work around 15:00. Shutdown, de-racked, and moved equipment three hours away. Checked into hotel, started troubleshooting network connectivity issue at another site. Worked until 03:00, gave up and tried to sleep. Got up at 06:00 to go to the new location. Hooked up, powered on, and performed troubleshooting on equipment until 18:00.
- Came into work around 08:30. Powered down, de-racked, and moved equipment 20 minutes away. Re-racked equipment, cabled it, troubleshooting sessions until 10:00 the next day. Tried to sleep on the floor (didn't work too well).
- Got up, drove to airport for flight leaving at 09:00. Flight arrives around 13:00, tried to sleep until scheduled to be on site at 19:00. Go on site, stay for 2 hours, go back to hotel room until 23:00. Go back on site, perform changes, lasts until 06:30. Go back to hotel room, try to sleep and provide support for changes made.
SO, WHAT DO ALL THESE THINGS HAVE IN COMMON?
Stress, lack of sleep, difficult problems; essentially high effort, high priority tasks right? These are all things that you need to be on top of your game for. In the world of network engineering, this "always on" approach is not only expected, but many times required. Yes, there is the stereotype that us networking nerds don't know what the sun looks like, but to be honest, there is some truth to that idea, especially once you move into the crazy world of consultation (which I have recently done). As a network engineer, even one that only has the title of "administrator," you're looking at late night code upgrades, cutovers, troubleshooting, and if you're especially lucky, talking to end users about how the network still isn't up because you still have three hours left in your maintenance window.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH NEUROPLASTICITY?
"But Josh," you may ask, "this just sounds like you're complaining about your job. If you don't like it, do something else!" Well, Mr. Strawman, let me tell you, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHAT I DO. The challenges, the excitement, the new experiences, the satisfaction of making things work, I love it, and I think many in my profession love it too. My concern here isn't necessarily the long, thankless hours, or the fact that I sometimes have to stay continuously conscious for 20+ hours, my concern is that I could be RUINING MY MIND.
Let that sink in for a second. Suppose for a moment, that in performing all these tasks, you are actually reducing your ability to perform them well in the future. I'm not just talking about the concept of "burning out," I'm exploring the possibility that in doing these things I am making it to where one day I will no longer be physically or mentally capable of performing them. How?
NEUROPLASTICITY
So, before I go further, let's define 'neuroplasticity' and some of the related terminology. Neuroplasticity, as defined by the all-knowing Dictionary.com, is defined as 'the capacity of the nervous system to develop new neuronal connections.' Sounds like a good thing, right? Ordinarily, it would be. But my fear is that I'm training my brain incorrectly, that I'm training it to build connections based on lack of sleep and high stress levels rather than optimizing it for the tasks I'm actually performing whilst under those conditions.
According to the blog Searching for the Mind by psychiatrist Dr. Jon Lieff, M.D, high levels of stress (not unlike those that I myself experience during long cutovers or when things go wrong) trigger the well-known 'fight or flight' response that we're all so familiar with. To quote Dr. Lieff:
'''Neuroplasticity in the hippocampus is highly correlated with cognitive alterations that occur with stress and stress related psychiatric illness. The extensive changes in the dendrite spines include becoming shorter with less branching. These dendrite alterations are related to high levels of glutamate and glucocorticoids in unique patterns.
The loss of volume in the hippocampus appears to be related to atrophy of neurons as well as less newly minted neurons for memory.'''
Mentioned elsewhere in Dr. Lieff's post, the hippocampus is the nexus in the mind for memory and learning, and is highly susceptible to stress. To pull this out of the abstract, think of a child in school that is constantly pressured by teachers to perform well on tests and quizzes. According to the line of thought put forth by Dr. Lieff, there could be a connection between that child's performance and the stress they experience when being pressured by those teachers. HOWEVER, that being said, it is important to not fall victim to the old 'correlation/causation' fallacy, but merely recognize that the hippocampus changes during periods of stress, and that it is equally possible that the hippocampus changing IS the cause of the stress as much as the opposite is possible, but that's a discussion for another time.
The hippocampus does not appear to be the only region of the brain affected by stress, as Dr. Lieff also mentions that the medial pre-frontal cortex (responsible in part for cognition and reflexive thinking) experiences a decrease of up to 40% in synaptic activity. Even further still, there is evidence that amygdala actually strengthens during stress, making one's emotional responses more pronounced.
When consistently exposed to sustained, high stress situations, these effects can become long lasting and even permanent in some situations.
*YAWN* NEUROPLAST...IS...SLEEPY.......
According to a document authored by John W. McBurney, MD, Clinical Assistant Professor of Neurology at the University of South Carolina, a prolonged lack of sleep can make one more susceptible to insomnia, and, over time, can lead to decreased neurogenesis, which is the creation of new pathways in the brain. In one passage of this document, Dr. McBurney writes: '''Sleep deprivation is interpreted by the body as a stress. This results in SNS activation,
triggering the release of catecholamines and serum cortisol. This leads to multiple systemic
effects, such as elevations of serum glucose, blood pressure, and heart rate, and it results in
brain effects as well. Through a feed-forward mechanism, the effects of SNS activation
result in increased activation of the amygdala, a key nucleus in the limbic system of the
brain and an important regulator of SNS activity. This means that activation of the SNS will
become more likely to occur in the future. Since SNS activation results in sleep disruption, a
vicious feed-forward loop can ensue in which insomnia becomes entrenched. In addition,
elevations of cortisol to sustained high levels may result in decreased dendritic
arborization and even death of neurons in vulnerable areas of the brain.''' What this means is that not only can repeated instances of 'foregoing sleep' stunt neurogenesis, it can also actively harm the existing tissue in your brain!
All that being said, it is very likely that these late-night cutovers and other high-stress situations are drastically affecting my ability to learn and to remember what I have learned. Further than that, it is quite likely that these repeated situations are actively making me worse at my job!
So, how can I avoid this?
In a perfect world, I would have a partner. This partner would be just as knowledgeable as I am, just as capable, and with an equitable work ethic. This hypothetical partner and I would be able to team up and switch off, picking up an issue right where I left it, and they would be able to do the same to me. Unfortunately, most network engineers are engineers for the money, which means that someone would have to pay the two of us. In the current market that I've witnessed, that would effectively double the budget most organizations have for network engineers, so while ideal, this solution isn't gonna happen.
Alternatively, I could just be literally the best engineer that exists, and can easily troubleshoot any issue as soon as I lay eyes upon it, predict failures before they happen, and make every cutover I'm ever involved in go smooth as silk.
...I could have a full head of hair again too, but that's not likely.
The only viable solution that I could think of, and the one I see seldom used, is that of self-awareness and self care. All too often I see either myself or one of my co-workers doggedly chasing after a stubborn issue, declaring something like "I'll have it figured out in another hour or two, then I can rest." Well, as you can see from the above, repeatedly doing that can and WILL cause permanent damage. The only person looking out for your health is YOU, and as such it is your prerogative to avoid such situations if at all possible. In the real world, these situations do arise, especially in consulting. We cannot be afraid to say no or to request assistance, especially in cases where you have ALREADY been working for hours.
No network is worth your health. No system is so critical that you must sacrifice yourself to it. Take care of yourself, especially if you love what you do, it might just be the only way you can keep doing it.
